Good morning to all, I ask humbly and with all my heart to those who will be kind enough to answer me, to read this post that I expect will be a bit long.
I am a very spiritual person, the circumstances of life have led me to look for non superficial answers to problems that have also been very serious. I am 52 years old and I have been consulting I ching since I was 18.... I should be an expert! But who can say they are about a similar subject...?
The theme here is always the same: love.
I have the presumption of knowing what it is, of having learned it to the sound of hard lessons. Who knows me well always repeats to me that I am a person who has a lot to give, but I am alone, more and more alone, reluctantly I am forced to recognize that in a society like today's, all smartphone and appearance, no one wants to look for a serious relationship, mature, a deep relationship, challenging, that puts us in play, that puts us in front of our most intimate reality, without discounts.
But I still believe in it and I will always believe in it.
I looked for it, I deluded myself that I had found it, maybe I also found it really: more often I was wrong.
But that's life.
I'm here to write to you under a tree that I particularly love, it's just me, the wind and a bird singing.
So... I've known a colleague by sight for years, we always say goodbye, every time she smiles at me with a smile that other people have also noticed: but more than a few coffees I have never been able to offer them. Until recently we talked to each other a bit, to tell the truth I had the impression that it was she who gave me the rope, a bit like saying to step forward, and so I did, I asked her out: invitation accepted!
I first consulted the oracle about whether or not to invite her and I got 60 delimitation, with the fifth mobile, then 19, the approach. What a complicated response...
So she accepts the invitation, but not immediately, the day I proposed, postpones it a few days later (the sweet delimitation?).
The day I set it, she calls me to make an agreement (I didn't expect it!) so let's go out.
She is a beautiful woman, extremely elegant, of great class. 52 years old she too, lives alone, has legions of suitors, travels, does sport, cinema, theatre, 1000 activities... We talk a lot right away, she asks me dozens of questions, she wants to know everything about me, religion, politics, my failed marriage, where I live, what I do, what books I read, what music I listen to. She gives me a lot of compliments, I make her laugh, we drink champagne ..... all right, right?
And here comes the 19th.
With all these questions it seems to me to speak only about me, she speaks of herself, of an important story ended 11 years ago followed by many less important stories always with the same scheme: men leave her because she is too independent.
She asks me how I live in the condition of not having children, like her. I feel that for her it is an immense void, and I realize that all this eagerness to live, people, activities, is nothing more than the desire to fill that void, and the image of independent and autonomous woman, master of his time, is largely a mask.
I tell her that I am an orphan and she is struck by it because she is terrified of losing her parents: she wants to know how it feels and then I am forced to tell her intimate details of my mother's death, and she even gets moved by saying while she dries her eyes "but you tell things so well!
I could still write a lot of things, the evening goes on like this, I'm a little puzzled because suddenly she remembers that she was invited to dinner with her ex and writes to him to cancel the appointment (I understand her busy life but that seems to me exaggerated!).
We decide to meet again for a dinner, next Saturday we will go to the theater, and also accepts the invitation for a future trip to the sea (his commitments permitting, I think ...).
I bring her back home, after 5 minutes she already writes to me to ask me (again!) what a rock band I told her about is called. I answer by thanking her for the evening, she answers in the morning by thanking me for the beautiful, interesting and "dense" words.
The approach was undoubtedly there!
But I also see clearly the next misfortune....
What do you think?
I am a very spiritual person, the circumstances of life have led me to look for non superficial answers to problems that have also been very serious. I am 52 years old and I have been consulting I ching since I was 18.... I should be an expert! But who can say they are about a similar subject...?
The theme here is always the same: love.
I have the presumption of knowing what it is, of having learned it to the sound of hard lessons. Who knows me well always repeats to me that I am a person who has a lot to give, but I am alone, more and more alone, reluctantly I am forced to recognize that in a society like today's, all smartphone and appearance, no one wants to look for a serious relationship, mature, a deep relationship, challenging, that puts us in play, that puts us in front of our most intimate reality, without discounts.
But I still believe in it and I will always believe in it.
I looked for it, I deluded myself that I had found it, maybe I also found it really: more often I was wrong.
But that's life.
I'm here to write to you under a tree that I particularly love, it's just me, the wind and a bird singing.
So... I've known a colleague by sight for years, we always say goodbye, every time she smiles at me with a smile that other people have also noticed: but more than a few coffees I have never been able to offer them. Until recently we talked to each other a bit, to tell the truth I had the impression that it was she who gave me the rope, a bit like saying to step forward, and so I did, I asked her out: invitation accepted!
I first consulted the oracle about whether or not to invite her and I got 60 delimitation, with the fifth mobile, then 19, the approach. What a complicated response...
So she accepts the invitation, but not immediately, the day I proposed, postpones it a few days later (the sweet delimitation?).
The day I set it, she calls me to make an agreement (I didn't expect it!) so let's go out.
She is a beautiful woman, extremely elegant, of great class. 52 years old she too, lives alone, has legions of suitors, travels, does sport, cinema, theatre, 1000 activities... We talk a lot right away, she asks me dozens of questions, she wants to know everything about me, religion, politics, my failed marriage, where I live, what I do, what books I read, what music I listen to. She gives me a lot of compliments, I make her laugh, we drink champagne ..... all right, right?
And here comes the 19th.
With all these questions it seems to me to speak only about me, she speaks of herself, of an important story ended 11 years ago followed by many less important stories always with the same scheme: men leave her because she is too independent.
She asks me how I live in the condition of not having children, like her. I feel that for her it is an immense void, and I realize that all this eagerness to live, people, activities, is nothing more than the desire to fill that void, and the image of independent and autonomous woman, master of his time, is largely a mask.
I tell her that I am an orphan and she is struck by it because she is terrified of losing her parents: she wants to know how it feels and then I am forced to tell her intimate details of my mother's death, and she even gets moved by saying while she dries her eyes "but you tell things so well!
I could still write a lot of things, the evening goes on like this, I'm a little puzzled because suddenly she remembers that she was invited to dinner with her ex and writes to him to cancel the appointment (I understand her busy life but that seems to me exaggerated!).
We decide to meet again for a dinner, next Saturday we will go to the theater, and also accepts the invitation for a future trip to the sea (his commitments permitting, I think ...).
I bring her back home, after 5 minutes she already writes to me to ask me (again!) what a rock band I told her about is called. I answer by thanking her for the evening, she answers in the morning by thanking me for the beautiful, interesting and "dense" words.
The approach was undoubtedly there!
But I also see clearly the next misfortune....
What do you think?