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Death of a beloved person. 23.6>2

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Hello to all.Back in 2013 the man who was my partner died of Hodgkins Lynphoma at the age of 23.It was surprising and sudden. I felt devastated and cried for weeks.I didn't know how to carry on with my life so I followed my parents advice. I took a job offer, left our house and moved with a friend.It was a quick process and I felt empty, but I accepted what life brought.A year later I met a man, we fell in love and became a couple. We started a family and now are parents of a lovely son. It felt right at the time. I have no regrets, because otherwise, without this new relationship I would have die. I had no courage to be alone. My husband knew my story from the beginning and accepted it.But the pain stills lacerates me often. I feel I am not over mourning. I miss D. so much. I love my family, but sometimes I wish I am not here anymore. In these years I have tried therapy, alternative healing, writing, meditating -everything I could think of to learn to accept and let go.Today I felt like I could sleep forever. The pain is unbearable.I asked the Master "Please give me a message from D."I don't know if one is supposed to ask such questions. I just need to talk to him one more time. An explanation. His death was so sudden and sad, like an accident, I could not say goodbye.He was a beautiful, caring, respectful human being. One of a kind.I know I have responsabilities now and I cannot get carried away, I just wish I could let all this go.The Master said 23.6>2. 2 to me represents accepting, go with the flow, being receptive like Earth. It's transparent, and I got the same hexagram when asking "What's to do now?" , nevertheless I would like to dig deeper here, and to read other people's opinions.What about 23.6Do you think you can give me an advice for that line?I am sorry I can't offer a deeper explanation. I wish if someone could advice me what to ask in this case, that would be helpful too.Thank you with all my heart for reading me.

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