Hello all,
I would appreciate, please, a little feedback on a couple of questions I have about a new person in my life. He is someone I have been on 3 dates with now and I genuinely like him. He's ... well ... I think he's very handsome; but he's also intelligent, reflective, has had an interesting life and he's mature (early forties now). On the other hand, when we've been a bit more intimate I've not felt a huge connection, yet; I think this is partly because during conversation he has a tendency to talk a lot and not listen as much as I would hope, or at least to be a bit brusque and overly direct in some of his responses. I've put this down to nerves. Also, and more importantly, down to the fact he has just moved to my city to start a new job and is a bit overwhelmed by all the novelty, the adjustment, and the workload, which seems high.
I've also put it down to a cultural thing; I'm half-German and so is he... and he's spent more time in Germany... no offence to anyone from Germany but the other half of me is British and Teutonic directness is a bit of a cultural difference. (I'm willing to be corrected here..!)
But it leaves me feeling both liked and wanted, on the one hand, and a bit strangely unseen or unheard on the other.
I feel something is really there though at the same time. It's just intermittent; it swims up when we're relaxed with each other and then seems to disappear again.
I am sounding pretty low-key and ambivalent about this' maybe I am. But at the same time I've felt something connect with this person that hasn't been there for a long time, since my last break-up two years ago.
I have asked the Yi a few questions about this situation.
1. are X and I meant to be friends or lovers? 58.4-60.
2. what is the right connection for X and me to have? 51.1.3.4-15.
3. is there a romantic future for me and X if we try to go in that direction? 13.2-1.
Hmmm. I never understand 58.4. Is it suggesting there is something important working itself out slowly, in a restrained manner, or is it suggesting the whole situation is wasting energy? What is more, does 13.2 indicate that I ought to try to find a wider circle or that I ought to commit more energy to the connection between us? It's like the Yi is just mirroring my own ambivalence, though that may just reveal the limitations of my readings.
As for 51, it's always come up before when I am suffering from anxiety so perhaps that is the issue.
Any thoughts are very much appreciated; thank you in advance.
G
I would appreciate, please, a little feedback on a couple of questions I have about a new person in my life. He is someone I have been on 3 dates with now and I genuinely like him. He's ... well ... I think he's very handsome; but he's also intelligent, reflective, has had an interesting life and he's mature (early forties now). On the other hand, when we've been a bit more intimate I've not felt a huge connection, yet; I think this is partly because during conversation he has a tendency to talk a lot and not listen as much as I would hope, or at least to be a bit brusque and overly direct in some of his responses. I've put this down to nerves. Also, and more importantly, down to the fact he has just moved to my city to start a new job and is a bit overwhelmed by all the novelty, the adjustment, and the workload, which seems high.
I've also put it down to a cultural thing; I'm half-German and so is he... and he's spent more time in Germany... no offence to anyone from Germany but the other half of me is British and Teutonic directness is a bit of a cultural difference. (I'm willing to be corrected here..!)
But it leaves me feeling both liked and wanted, on the one hand, and a bit strangely unseen or unheard on the other.
I feel something is really there though at the same time. It's just intermittent; it swims up when we're relaxed with each other and then seems to disappear again.
I am sounding pretty low-key and ambivalent about this' maybe I am. But at the same time I've felt something connect with this person that hasn't been there for a long time, since my last break-up two years ago.
I have asked the Yi a few questions about this situation.
1. are X and I meant to be friends or lovers? 58.4-60.
2. what is the right connection for X and me to have? 51.1.3.4-15.
3. is there a romantic future for me and X if we try to go in that direction? 13.2-1.
Hmmm. I never understand 58.4. Is it suggesting there is something important working itself out slowly, in a restrained manner, or is it suggesting the whole situation is wasting energy? What is more, does 13.2 indicate that I ought to try to find a wider circle or that I ought to commit more energy to the connection between us? It's like the Yi is just mirroring my own ambivalence, though that may just reveal the limitations of my readings.
As for 51, it's always come up before when I am suffering from anxiety so perhaps that is the issue.
Any thoughts are very much appreciated; thank you in advance.
G