my brother 35.1 > 21

My brother is going througha very difficult time. Being his only sibling, I am trying to be there for him and when he asks, advise him. His marriage i s just difficult. My sister-in-law is a challenge for us all. Our approach to date is to pour love on it. We are all aware of her very difficult childhood, so we have a tendency to see current events in light of that. I am of the opinion that in some ways it keeps her unaccountable. There is a young child involved so we are all very mindful of that. My brother worries about leaving the marriage for fear that my sis in law is truly not well (I won't trouble here with all the details), but clearly has some challenging psychological issues.

My brother is torn. Therefore, we have a bit of flip flopping going on. So to better understand, I asked yi:

Does he intend to leave the marriage?

35.1> 21

See the issue is that if down deep he really does want to leave the marriage, then I want to support him in that.

It seems from my read that he wants to, but is afraid to. 21 is a background for legal action, but could also mean "biting through " the issues that concern him. Or I guess it could mean, he isn't ready yet and wants to work further on it. Almost a middle path which we have discussed recently. I feel too close to the matter and would love any feedback.

In so many ways, I am concerned now for his own well being​. While he is strong, he has a tendency to try to be perfect. His health is compromised. He is an older parent.

Thanks for any additional insight.

beatpoet.