Hi all! So this morning I found myself on the receiving end of angry depressive episode.
I've been seeing my ex again for about 5mths. We had a serious relationship a few years back but had a nasty breakup because of his building depression & his lack of control at lashing out. We didn't speak after that for over a year until he contacted me out of the blue to apologise for all his behaviour & that he was moving to the States. We spoke & it was nice to get closure.
He was living there for 2yrs & seemed to be really content & really had it together; I was very happy for him, proud that he had himself in check finally!
Then last autumn he made the decision to move to Europe to be closer to family, unfortunately he wasn't long there when his grandmother died & he flew home & decided to stay for a while. We rekindled things & did fall for each other again, things were going great but because he was going to be leaving & living in another country & if I'm totally honest because I had a fear of the same patterns repeating themselves; we never said we were officially in a relationship. But things were going great, we do butt each heads a bit on different topics & have had arguments but always quell them quite quickly.
He had been a bit down lately, he really missed his life in the States & really questioned his move. He doesn't speak the language & hasn't really made many friends so I can tell he's incredibly lonely. The issue of where this was going with us has come up a few times too, I really wanted to talk face to face with him about it. I had made plans to visit for a wkend, was literally about to book flights until I woke up from a txt that his apartment roof had caved in in the middle of the night!!
He could have been killed but manage to escape unhurt. I wanted to come to him straight away but he insisted on me not coming until his apartment could be fixed, he was still in a state of shock so I didn't want to push him. That was 2wks ago.
So since then we've been taking on the phone everyday like usual, yesterday we even had a great day, chatting for hours, laughing , being silly. He called me this morning & I had mentioned something that was getting me down a bit & that's when , picking up momentum he started ranting on about how everything I was doing was wrong & then started spiralling; this is usually an indicator of his depression kicking in & on the verge of an episode. He was being totally irrational, I don't even know why he was picking a fight or what it was about (he kept picking on unrelated things) or what even triggered it, but he did mention that yesterday he had spent the day in bed trying to sleep because he was so down.
For the past year I've been able to get off the phone with him & he can calm himself down & not spiral, but this time I got a barrage of mean & hurtful texts, one after the other, no breathing room to txt back - this was his go to thing to do when we were in a relationship the first time round (& it destroyed us) I let him know that this was not ok to act like this. And then he blocked my number!
I know I did nothing wrong & that I deserved none of that, but it's obviously very hurtful. I know it's one of his depressive episodes & he was lashing out but I'm really worried about him, he hasn't had one in years as far as I know & he's over there all alone. I don't know what to do so I asked:
"How should I proceed with this situation?" 51.6 >21
So 51 - Shock; I think that could be either one of us, or both shocked at what has happened & his behaviour. But does Line 6 say do nothing? The thunder affects the neighbours - I assume that refers to him & maybe his blaming me on everything? It is not safe to even attempt to contact him (not that I can at the moment!)
Hex 21 - Biting Through - I think this may be about his spiralling thoughts, the obstacle he needs to overcome.
I'm still at a loss what to do - I don't really want to leave him to be lost in his own destructive thoughts over there on his own, but how he acted was very wrong & I have my own things to deal with right now & need to look after myself.
Any thoughts on these Hex's?
I've been seeing my ex again for about 5mths. We had a serious relationship a few years back but had a nasty breakup because of his building depression & his lack of control at lashing out. We didn't speak after that for over a year until he contacted me out of the blue to apologise for all his behaviour & that he was moving to the States. We spoke & it was nice to get closure.
He was living there for 2yrs & seemed to be really content & really had it together; I was very happy for him, proud that he had himself in check finally!
Then last autumn he made the decision to move to Europe to be closer to family, unfortunately he wasn't long there when his grandmother died & he flew home & decided to stay for a while. We rekindled things & did fall for each other again, things were going great but because he was going to be leaving & living in another country & if I'm totally honest because I had a fear of the same patterns repeating themselves; we never said we were officially in a relationship. But things were going great, we do butt each heads a bit on different topics & have had arguments but always quell them quite quickly.
He had been a bit down lately, he really missed his life in the States & really questioned his move. He doesn't speak the language & hasn't really made many friends so I can tell he's incredibly lonely. The issue of where this was going with us has come up a few times too, I really wanted to talk face to face with him about it. I had made plans to visit for a wkend, was literally about to book flights until I woke up from a txt that his apartment roof had caved in in the middle of the night!!
He could have been killed but manage to escape unhurt. I wanted to come to him straight away but he insisted on me not coming until his apartment could be fixed, he was still in a state of shock so I didn't want to push him. That was 2wks ago.
So since then we've been taking on the phone everyday like usual, yesterday we even had a great day, chatting for hours, laughing , being silly. He called me this morning & I had mentioned something that was getting me down a bit & that's when , picking up momentum he started ranting on about how everything I was doing was wrong & then started spiralling; this is usually an indicator of his depression kicking in & on the verge of an episode. He was being totally irrational, I don't even know why he was picking a fight or what it was about (he kept picking on unrelated things) or what even triggered it, but he did mention that yesterday he had spent the day in bed trying to sleep because he was so down.
For the past year I've been able to get off the phone with him & he can calm himself down & not spiral, but this time I got a barrage of mean & hurtful texts, one after the other, no breathing room to txt back - this was his go to thing to do when we were in a relationship the first time round (& it destroyed us) I let him know that this was not ok to act like this. And then he blocked my number!
I know I did nothing wrong & that I deserved none of that, but it's obviously very hurtful. I know it's one of his depressive episodes & he was lashing out but I'm really worried about him, he hasn't had one in years as far as I know & he's over there all alone. I don't know what to do so I asked:
"How should I proceed with this situation?" 51.6 >21
So 51 - Shock; I think that could be either one of us, or both shocked at what has happened & his behaviour. But does Line 6 say do nothing? The thunder affects the neighbours - I assume that refers to him & maybe his blaming me on everything? It is not safe to even attempt to contact him (not that I can at the moment!)
Hex 21 - Biting Through - I think this may be about his spiralling thoughts, the obstacle he needs to overcome.
I'm still at a loss what to do - I don't really want to leave him to be lost in his own destructive thoughts over there on his own, but how he acted was very wrong & I have my own things to deal with right now & need to look after myself.
Any thoughts on these Hex's?