I asked when I would be lighthearted again, after a long meditation and finding myself at a loss for wording. But I trust I resonated the following, in essence: A year ago, I fell and broke many ribs, punctured a lung and was in a coma for five days. Last summer my girlfriend unexpectedly (at least at the time) dumped me, Thanksgiving day past my mother died. And of course, life's other, more or less to be expected troubles. But I have been deeply sad and deeply lonely. I am blessed with many friends, esp. for a, lately anyway, "loner". And I have a god job, I teach. I know I'm loved. But I am so tired of feeling alone, sad and afraid. With the "upswing" simply being numb fatigue with a whole sack of false faces to get through work and human relations.
I'm lucky even now, I know. But I do not feel it, not in the in the slightest. Over a VERY checkered existence, I have never lost hope. But I'm there. I'm 55. I wonder, will I feel happy again? Will I have a companion, again? Will I regain my natural optimism, and/or, have reason to?
This was the reading I got. I found it intriguing. Comforting. So, there it is.
I'm lucky even now, I know. But I do not feel it, not in the in the slightest. Over a VERY checkered existence, I have never lost hope. But I'm there. I'm 55. I wonder, will I feel happy again? Will I have a companion, again? Will I regain my natural optimism, and/or, have reason to?
This was the reading I got. I found it intriguing. Comforting. So, there it is.