I'm so sorry I put the wrong heading up it should read - 36>2 if one of the admin could change it for me please.
I'm going to try and cut a long story short but it stems back to before I was born.
My mother never liked me and once told a counsellor I was seeing at the time the same thing. This resulted, as you can imagine, in me having very little self esteem although I really thought I'd sorted out my self esteem issues and was doing really well in the last couple of years.
I was told by a kinesiologist some years ago that the dislike towards me from my mother started in the womb and the reason why.....the story made a lot of sense to me as put the pieces of my parents relationship together in a way I hadn't before.
As I was growing up my mother managed to turn my sisters and my father against me and then my exhusband who I divorced over 25 years ago who then in time has managed to feed my oldest son the same story who has now managed to turn my middle son against me as well.
This has all resulted in a lot of pain, heartache and loss for me and right now I have absolutely noone in my life that loves me unconditionally.
Yesterday at work I found out that my boss know my exhusband and his wife and her family quite well and this has resulted in my becoming extremely distraught and has brought up all my old issues again. I can't seem to get away from whatever this issue is - is it karmic or what is it? What do I have to do to resolve it and have unconditional love in my life.
My boss has assured me with words and actions that who she knows or what she knows is irrelevant to my job or her judgement of me.
I cry a lot now except when I'm at work and I don't sleep at night really I just cry and cry.
I feel like I've done nothing wrong and have no reason to apologise to anyone about this but for some reason it looks like I'm a horrible person.
I do love myself now and I do think I'm worthy of the best and to have unconditional love in my life but with all my children now buying into this story I just feel absolutely distraught.
What can I do to resolve this issue once and for all for myself 36.1.3>2
Hex 36 says to me to remain true to myself and keep my light burning within no matter what others may think or say.
I feel like Line 1 - those in authority have something to say is my boss encouraging me that everythings fine with her judgement/perception of me in regards to my work.
Line 3 I feel also is also her saying she will lead me out of this and not also join in the 'affliction' against me.
This job means a lot to me and from the moment I was at the interview I felt that it would be a way to prove my self worth to not only myself but to others too in terms of my value as an employee.
My boss and a man on the committee told me they could see the value in employing me despite my lack of experience in this particular role because of the different experiences I've had in the childcare/teaching sector. That meant a lot to me to hear that.
I'm going to try and cut a long story short but it stems back to before I was born.
My mother never liked me and once told a counsellor I was seeing at the time the same thing. This resulted, as you can imagine, in me having very little self esteem although I really thought I'd sorted out my self esteem issues and was doing really well in the last couple of years.
I was told by a kinesiologist some years ago that the dislike towards me from my mother started in the womb and the reason why.....the story made a lot of sense to me as put the pieces of my parents relationship together in a way I hadn't before.
As I was growing up my mother managed to turn my sisters and my father against me and then my exhusband who I divorced over 25 years ago who then in time has managed to feed my oldest son the same story who has now managed to turn my middle son against me as well.
This has all resulted in a lot of pain, heartache and loss for me and right now I have absolutely noone in my life that loves me unconditionally.
Yesterday at work I found out that my boss know my exhusband and his wife and her family quite well and this has resulted in my becoming extremely distraught and has brought up all my old issues again. I can't seem to get away from whatever this issue is - is it karmic or what is it? What do I have to do to resolve it and have unconditional love in my life.
My boss has assured me with words and actions that who she knows or what she knows is irrelevant to my job or her judgement of me.
I cry a lot now except when I'm at work and I don't sleep at night really I just cry and cry.
I feel like I've done nothing wrong and have no reason to apologise to anyone about this but for some reason it looks like I'm a horrible person.
I do love myself now and I do think I'm worthy of the best and to have unconditional love in my life but with all my children now buying into this story I just feel absolutely distraught.
What can I do to resolve this issue once and for all for myself 36.1.3>2
Hex 36 says to me to remain true to myself and keep my light burning within no matter what others may think or say.
I feel like Line 1 - those in authority have something to say is my boss encouraging me that everythings fine with her judgement/perception of me in regards to my work.
Line 3 I feel also is also her saying she will lead me out of this and not also join in the 'affliction' against me.
This job means a lot to me and from the moment I was at the interview I felt that it would be a way to prove my self worth to not only myself but to others too in terms of my value as an employee.
My boss and a man on the committee told me they could see the value in employing me despite my lack of experience in this particular role because of the different experiences I've had in the childcare/teaching sector. That meant a lot to me to hear that.