Dear All,
This is a very difficult, completely mixed-up painful situation (narcissistic, unfeeling, controlling, dominant mother who might be near death...) The issues are not important...except I have tried very hard in the past to do the right thing, but never could get through...she always finds a way to compromise my integrity...invade my internal space, and before i know I am playing her version of me...which is not me...(i am highly empathic...pleasing her by entering into her victimhood fantasy by somehow becoming the oppressor...)
sorry this is very hard. I have held myself back, but I really want to do the right thing...I asked the yi, what do I need to do?
(after trying to talk to her on the phone a few times today after a long break)
6.4
'Cannot master this argument,
Returning and taking up the mandate.
With a change of heart, peaceful constancy is good fortune.'
True enough. I call her wanting to not argue, but find myself in argument, and my energy depleting. It feels like trying to save a drowning person, but not having enough strength, and drowning with them...
I want to be able to support her, but I don't think I have the strength enough, to not get caught up in the arguing modality. It would be so nice to simply let go, in gratitude and peace...forgiveness.
Can anyone please help shed some light?
I know she has come a long way forward, but I feel I might have gone a long way back, from when I was able to be more strong in my genuine capacity to be of help (in loving kindness)...
Thank you. Please do be gentle.
This is a very difficult, completely mixed-up painful situation (narcissistic, unfeeling, controlling, dominant mother who might be near death...) The issues are not important...except I have tried very hard in the past to do the right thing, but never could get through...she always finds a way to compromise my integrity...invade my internal space, and before i know I am playing her version of me...which is not me...(i am highly empathic...pleasing her by entering into her victimhood fantasy by somehow becoming the oppressor...)
sorry this is very hard. I have held myself back, but I really want to do the right thing...I asked the yi, what do I need to do?
(after trying to talk to her on the phone a few times today after a long break)
6.4
'Cannot master this argument,
Returning and taking up the mandate.
With a change of heart, peaceful constancy is good fortune.'
True enough. I call her wanting to not argue, but find myself in argument, and my energy depleting. It feels like trying to save a drowning person, but not having enough strength, and drowning with them...
I want to be able to support her, but I don't think I have the strength enough, to not get caught up in the arguing modality. It would be so nice to simply let go, in gratitude and peace...forgiveness.
Can anyone please help shed some light?
I know she has come a long way forward, but I feel I might have gone a long way back, from when I was able to be more strong in my genuine capacity to be of help (in loving kindness)...
Thank you. Please do be gentle.