Hello all,
First, I'm new to this community so hello, and thanks for this. Having a place to explore the Yi and all the raw, tender questions we have is pretty darn cool.
Here's the story of this reading: The women of my family and I have never been close. My mother was abusive and my sisters continued that trend after my mother passed away. On his deathbed (literally) my father told me to get as far away from it all as I could. I took his advice -- I saw it as permission to finally leave what was a very toxic and hurtful situation. My sisters twisted the story of my "leaving town" and have convinced my extended family that I'm just a shallow human being who has no regard for family. As a consequence, I've essentially been ostracized by even my cousins for years. I've recently made attempts to mend fences, reaching out to cousins via Facebook (because we all live so far from each other) with a simple "hello, it's been years" kind of thing. Not only did all of the women not respond, but several of them blocked me straight away without so much as an acknowledgment.
When I look back over my life, I can see a pattern with this sort of thing. Women seem to really bristle with me. I've done a ton of inner work on myself throughout my life to find the "why" of this. After a recent accident that nearly killed me, I want to heal the family division more than ever and be able to be around women in general as friends and not as constant combatants.
30.1.4.6 to 15
If I go with the middle line: 30.4 --> with regard to my family, this suggests to me they still see me as the little girl who was irresponsible and reckless (Legge, "excitable and restless"). I've been told some of the gossip my sisters spread about me is essentially regurgitated stories from my childhood -- mistakes I made when young -- blown up to make me look like a horrible person who's still making those same mistakes today.
15 --> this is where I'm stumped. 15 says "a modest approach is needed; allow oneself to be led". Does that mean, let it go? If they're not responding, I should follow their lead and just let go?
If you've made it this far, thank you! Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
First, I'm new to this community so hello, and thanks for this. Having a place to explore the Yi and all the raw, tender questions we have is pretty darn cool.
Here's the story of this reading: The women of my family and I have never been close. My mother was abusive and my sisters continued that trend after my mother passed away. On his deathbed (literally) my father told me to get as far away from it all as I could. I took his advice -- I saw it as permission to finally leave what was a very toxic and hurtful situation. My sisters twisted the story of my "leaving town" and have convinced my extended family that I'm just a shallow human being who has no regard for family. As a consequence, I've essentially been ostracized by even my cousins for years. I've recently made attempts to mend fences, reaching out to cousins via Facebook (because we all live so far from each other) with a simple "hello, it's been years" kind of thing. Not only did all of the women not respond, but several of them blocked me straight away without so much as an acknowledgment.
When I look back over my life, I can see a pattern with this sort of thing. Women seem to really bristle with me. I've done a ton of inner work on myself throughout my life to find the "why" of this. After a recent accident that nearly killed me, I want to heal the family division more than ever and be able to be around women in general as friends and not as constant combatants.
30.1.4.6 to 15
If I go with the middle line: 30.4 --> with regard to my family, this suggests to me they still see me as the little girl who was irresponsible and reckless (Legge, "excitable and restless"). I've been told some of the gossip my sisters spread about me is essentially regurgitated stories from my childhood -- mistakes I made when young -- blown up to make me look like a horrible person who's still making those same mistakes today.
15 --> this is where I'm stumped. 15 says "a modest approach is needed; allow oneself to be led". Does that mean, let it go? If they're not responding, I should follow their lead and just let go?
If you've made it this far, thank you! Any insights would be greatly appreciated.