I'm in a complicated sort-of relationship with a guy. He's told me he feels strongly about me, and I am quite mad about him, but due to choices he's made in his life, and several things he's involved in, he says he doesn't want a relationship.
I've tried to respect that... and yet, whenever we find ourselves alone, we end up sharing amazing, amazing physical and emotional intimacy. He tells me things he hasn't ever told anyone, and I feel like I can be my real self (warts and all) with him.
Last time we saw each other, he was worried that if we kept it up, it'd end up poorly for both of us, and wanted me to help him not get physical (he wants to keep the emotional intimacy). All the times we've been together physically, he's initiated. I haven't wanted to do so outright because I don't want to force him. Last time, however, I was more forward. He said it was ok, since it was the last time (he's said that a few times, so it's kind of hard to believe), and we acted lovey-dovey (hand holding, cuddling, etc.) for the whole night, while we talked about everything and anything.
I'm crazy about him, and during the whole relationship, I've asked the Yi for guidance... and it's given me some really solid advice. For the future, it gave me 45.1.4, which I think is quite excellent.
However, I suddenly felt wracked with guilt... what if I was too forceful last time? I'm afraid of making him uncomfortable. So I asked, and got 36 unchanging.
I read this translation "Darkening of the Light. It benefits one to carry on through hard times.", and thought it meant to plow through the very strong feelings of doubt and anxiety that arises in my mind, and try to carry on.
What interpretation would you guys suggest?
Edit: I meant to say "45.1.4", not "10.1.4"
I've tried to respect that... and yet, whenever we find ourselves alone, we end up sharing amazing, amazing physical and emotional intimacy. He tells me things he hasn't ever told anyone, and I feel like I can be my real self (warts and all) with him.
Last time we saw each other, he was worried that if we kept it up, it'd end up poorly for both of us, and wanted me to help him not get physical (he wants to keep the emotional intimacy). All the times we've been together physically, he's initiated. I haven't wanted to do so outright because I don't want to force him. Last time, however, I was more forward. He said it was ok, since it was the last time (he's said that a few times, so it's kind of hard to believe), and we acted lovey-dovey (hand holding, cuddling, etc.) for the whole night, while we talked about everything and anything.
I'm crazy about him, and during the whole relationship, I've asked the Yi for guidance... and it's given me some really solid advice. For the future, it gave me 45.1.4, which I think is quite excellent.
However, I suddenly felt wracked with guilt... what if I was too forceful last time? I'm afraid of making him uncomfortable. So I asked, and got 36 unchanging.
I read this translation "Darkening of the Light. It benefits one to carry on through hard times.", and thought it meant to plow through the very strong feelings of doubt and anxiety that arises in my mind, and try to carry on.
What interpretation would you guys suggest?
Edit: I meant to say "45.1.4", not "10.1.4"