Hello, this is my first post so nice to meet you all.
I'm living a stressful and hard time in the relationship with my GF.
Her father died 15 days ago after being diagnosed 3 months ago with leukemia. During this time i tried to be the most supportive i could in every way, and she seemed to appreciate my presence; but she started to become every day gradually more distant till...
...one day finally she said to me that she didn't know if she loves me anymore, because she doesn't feel the need to kiss or hug me, or even spend time with me. She said she didn't know if it's because of the grieving, or if it's an unrelated problem, and so she need to keep distance from me to really think about it and find out why she's like this.
Since then communication became unidirectional, if i write her she answer and we talk, otherwise all is silent. We have scheduled a friendly meeting this week to exchange some things we have and drink something. I think we will do it with the full moon if she's free because of the line i got in 54.5.
I asked the I ching 2 questions:
- What it's the best course of action / what can i do about the situation (but i'm sure while asking this question in my mind there also was how will this end up for us, you know it was a very emotionally charged question). I received 54.5 to 58.
This seems really fitting because it's about subordination to a situation you aren't in the position to change. Initially i was happy for the transformation to joy, because i interpreted it as if i give her time to grieve and being alone without imposing myself and my need to be with her,there will be an happy ending. After lurking here a bit searching for others interpretation of this particular changing line, i'm not so sure anymore, so i thought to ask for opinions for my particular situation.
For example it could very well be that the happy ending isn't really to be back together, but more of an inner happiness coming from inside myself, sort of an acceptance that whatever conclusion this relationship will reach, it will be for the best.
- What's her position in the relationship, what goes in her mind right now. I received 16.1.4 to 24
This didn't gave me the sense of really getting it like the answer to the first question gave me almost at first glance.
Found this that seem to relate to the situation:
"Line 1 Boasting enthusiasm = not uniting does not further. Changes to (51) Shocking. A false sense of well being has led to pride and a surprise encounter with failure. Something important to you may be brushed off by someone else who thinks you are too overly excited. Your behavior may appear Shocking to another. Better to use enthusiasm with humility without bragging.Emotions are interfering with the ability to see clearly. There may be a loss of purpose or blocked aspirations. Excess is at play in some way which a return to humility will cure. Bring it down a notch and trust the flow."
I know loss of purpose was one aspect of how grieving affected her. Also, the distance she put between us was shocking for sure for me. But i don't see how enthusiasm fit in the picture.
Line 4 maybe it's about her being more enthusiastic to spend time with her friends more than with me right now? But she isn't going out a lot even with friends from what i know so...
The change to 24, return, could symbolize her need to find herself, sort of a rebirth, before being ready again to be with someone, but i'm not sure.
What's your opinion? If it can help, i also got 29.2 to 8 for my position in the relationship. But i don't want to add too much, otherwise i fear i could influence how others see the situation. If you need other details let me know.
Thanks to whoever will take the time to write down his thoughts about this.
Have a nice day!
I'm living a stressful and hard time in the relationship with my GF.
Her father died 15 days ago after being diagnosed 3 months ago with leukemia. During this time i tried to be the most supportive i could in every way, and she seemed to appreciate my presence; but she started to become every day gradually more distant till...
...one day finally she said to me that she didn't know if she loves me anymore, because she doesn't feel the need to kiss or hug me, or even spend time with me. She said she didn't know if it's because of the grieving, or if it's an unrelated problem, and so she need to keep distance from me to really think about it and find out why she's like this.
Since then communication became unidirectional, if i write her she answer and we talk, otherwise all is silent. We have scheduled a friendly meeting this week to exchange some things we have and drink something. I think we will do it with the full moon if she's free because of the line i got in 54.5.
I asked the I ching 2 questions:
- What it's the best course of action / what can i do about the situation (but i'm sure while asking this question in my mind there also was how will this end up for us, you know it was a very emotionally charged question). I received 54.5 to 58.
This seems really fitting because it's about subordination to a situation you aren't in the position to change. Initially i was happy for the transformation to joy, because i interpreted it as if i give her time to grieve and being alone without imposing myself and my need to be with her,there will be an happy ending. After lurking here a bit searching for others interpretation of this particular changing line, i'm not so sure anymore, so i thought to ask for opinions for my particular situation.
For example it could very well be that the happy ending isn't really to be back together, but more of an inner happiness coming from inside myself, sort of an acceptance that whatever conclusion this relationship will reach, it will be for the best.
- What's her position in the relationship, what goes in her mind right now. I received 16.1.4 to 24
This didn't gave me the sense of really getting it like the answer to the first question gave me almost at first glance.
Found this that seem to relate to the situation:
"Line 1 Boasting enthusiasm = not uniting does not further. Changes to (51) Shocking. A false sense of well being has led to pride and a surprise encounter with failure. Something important to you may be brushed off by someone else who thinks you are too overly excited. Your behavior may appear Shocking to another. Better to use enthusiasm with humility without bragging.Emotions are interfering with the ability to see clearly. There may be a loss of purpose or blocked aspirations. Excess is at play in some way which a return to humility will cure. Bring it down a notch and trust the flow."
I know loss of purpose was one aspect of how grieving affected her. Also, the distance she put between us was shocking for sure for me. But i don't see how enthusiasm fit in the picture.
Line 4 maybe it's about her being more enthusiastic to spend time with her friends more than with me right now? But she isn't going out a lot even with friends from what i know so...
The change to 24, return, could symbolize her need to find herself, sort of a rebirth, before being ready again to be with someone, but i'm not sure.
What's your opinion? If it can help, i also got 29.2 to 8 for my position in the relationship. But i don't want to add too much, otherwise i fear i could influence how others see the situation. If you need other details let me know.
Thanks to whoever will take the time to write down his thoughts about this.
Have a nice day!