Some questions around having a kid

All my life I've wanted to have kids. Lots of things have interfered. I'm now 44, very happily married, with a moderately controlled health condition and a career that's really going places. I still very much want to have a child. At the same time, I have an overall sense that my life is not my own, that I'm hear to serve in whatever way that I'm called, and I recognize that that may not be through having a child. Rationally, it's extremely unlikely: I'm old, we've been trying for more than two years... But it's still very hard for me to let it go.

Will I have a kid? 28.1,2,3 to 17

I read that as No. Too stressful. Your body can't handle it. Follow where your life is taking you.

Oof.

Then I asked, So, then, what do I do with this longing? 53.6 to 39

I read that as, Be patient. Your calling in this life is something beyond having a kid.

I guess I'd just like a second opinion.