What will happen in love or sex in this month.Unchanging 42.O this talks about something that grows...very generic. I have been reading the posts in here and they all sounded grear but i constantly don't find this happiness. I didn't have sex for about 9 years which sounds abnormal especially at my age and the fact I'm not even ugly (people usually compliment me and I receive some looks) so people don't believe that at all and in fact i dont say it to anyone!! Obviously. Actually my values are a lot questioned, like for example i ran into a guy who was just selling his stuff but there was a lot of eye contact and he said good day and then he had fun making so many jokes... After all of this he got me into buying some of his stuff, so I don't think he was interested and after that episode in which i forced myself to act I felt my self esteem down again and less appreciated. Plus the second person I thought about for a lot time, who i had met on a dating app, wasn't able to get to know me better before meeting eachother... I took a break of a month to see if he missed me or made some effort, but after the initial interest (he seemed to be sincere about that, ugh!) i discovered that in the meanwhile he had had sex with another girl (and who knows, maybe also others).Honestly i don't really deserve this lack of sex and affection for this lot of time and for my age because i have been alone in my youth times, while people worse than me always have someone and treat you this way. Really im sick of this because everyone else hangs out and meets random people then they even talk about love, when well, i was waiting for someone special opposite to what all the others do. I am fed up, i want mutual interest with the ones i may like but this never happens, and if it does it brings to deceivement before someone concrete happens. As i said my rigid values got questioned and i thought this dating app guy was interested but no, they always have fish in the pond. I have been thinking about past crushes and keeping them still secret, i really have no clue if i will find someone. My last crush lasted 6 months before we fell apart, we met eachother for other reasons but in 6 months he didn't even touch me. Whats ****ing wrong with me. As time goes i am more and more lonely and ''afraid'' of meeting someone, lol. So, sorry for long talk, the casting would be encouraging but it is unchanging and makes me think nothing will develop the way i hoped... As usual....
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