I would like some help and advice in interpreting the ichings answers to my questions about a potential romantic relationship.
Over the last year there has been on/off attraction between a woman that attends the same chi king courses that I go. These are usually every 1-2 months on a weekend with the odd 5 day course and a weeks retreat in a foreign country. I had really paid her much attention until one day whilst working together on a partner exercise the instructor commented that the reason she was having difficulty was because of the chemistry between us. Until then I hadn't considered that she might have seen me in that way. After that we started talking, and I started flirting every now and again lightly which she seemed to like. At this point my mind ran away from me with possibilities of something romantic developing between us, normal I avoid even considering romantic potential till I've slept with a woman or at least kissed her so I was somewhat surprised to find myself emotionally investing in something happening, especially when nothing has happened yet. A year later and nothing has materialised though plenty of times when it seemed like it would.
It feels like dancing with someone where our timing is off, we keep banging heads, stepping on each others toes with short periods of things where things just feel right. I have felt strong sexual attraction from her though usually in a time place where it would not be appropriate to act on it and so haven't. There was also a longish period where I had nice feelings in my heart that I thought were coming from me in relation to her then one day on a course I watched her make a decision of some kind then the feeling abruptly stopped and I realised that they must have been coming from her, at least in part.
To say it has been confusing is an major understatement. I have alternating feeling like I've got the wrong end of the stick, am being led on, am being too timid or defensive and totally attracted on all levels. Just when I say enough and stop feeling and pull away, something happens and it feels like we connect deeper than before, briefly, only for one of us to pull away again and the dance to continue.
As you can imagine I have consulted the iching more times than is healthy about this without really knowing what I'm doing and how to interpret it's message. Recently I came across a post on this forum where someone laid out a series of questions to ask the Yi (sorry can't remember who posted this!). Below are the results and my interpretations, I'd be grateful for any interpretations that the wonderful people of this forum can provide of the Yi's anwers and how it relates to this situation.
Thanks!
a) General Diagnosis of the relation between X and I
37.1 to 53
something is developing between us but it is slow and as nothing has been explicitly said there is confusion. Perhaps this is the reason for the awkward dancing, I haven't wanted to push things as I enjoy the courses and don't want to make things uncomfortable for either of us. I am also somewhat fearful of the depth of feelings I have felt, having never had a romantic relationship before.
b) Qualification of X's position within the relation
51.1.2.6 to 64
She is surprised by either my feelings/behavious towards her and or her feelings/behaviour towards me or both. She is fearful on some level about connecting with me and concerned what the others in the group will think
c) Qualification of my position within the relation
7.1.2 to 24
I need to stop being emotionally invested and think this through with my head, checking to see if a relationship with the woman is really what I want and if it is suitable for me.
d)What is the best attitude to take to this relationship
37.6 to 63
I need to be respectful to myself and to her, 63 implies that there is nothing further to be gained and it's time to move on.
I welcome any and all interpretations of the above answers both mine and the Yi's.
Over the last year there has been on/off attraction between a woman that attends the same chi king courses that I go. These are usually every 1-2 months on a weekend with the odd 5 day course and a weeks retreat in a foreign country. I had really paid her much attention until one day whilst working together on a partner exercise the instructor commented that the reason she was having difficulty was because of the chemistry between us. Until then I hadn't considered that she might have seen me in that way. After that we started talking, and I started flirting every now and again lightly which she seemed to like. At this point my mind ran away from me with possibilities of something romantic developing between us, normal I avoid even considering romantic potential till I've slept with a woman or at least kissed her so I was somewhat surprised to find myself emotionally investing in something happening, especially when nothing has happened yet. A year later and nothing has materialised though plenty of times when it seemed like it would.
It feels like dancing with someone where our timing is off, we keep banging heads, stepping on each others toes with short periods of things where things just feel right. I have felt strong sexual attraction from her though usually in a time place where it would not be appropriate to act on it and so haven't. There was also a longish period where I had nice feelings in my heart that I thought were coming from me in relation to her then one day on a course I watched her make a decision of some kind then the feeling abruptly stopped and I realised that they must have been coming from her, at least in part.
To say it has been confusing is an major understatement. I have alternating feeling like I've got the wrong end of the stick, am being led on, am being too timid or defensive and totally attracted on all levels. Just when I say enough and stop feeling and pull away, something happens and it feels like we connect deeper than before, briefly, only for one of us to pull away again and the dance to continue.
As you can imagine I have consulted the iching more times than is healthy about this without really knowing what I'm doing and how to interpret it's message. Recently I came across a post on this forum where someone laid out a series of questions to ask the Yi (sorry can't remember who posted this!). Below are the results and my interpretations, I'd be grateful for any interpretations that the wonderful people of this forum can provide of the Yi's anwers and how it relates to this situation.
Thanks!
a) General Diagnosis of the relation between X and I
37.1 to 53
something is developing between us but it is slow and as nothing has been explicitly said there is confusion. Perhaps this is the reason for the awkward dancing, I haven't wanted to push things as I enjoy the courses and don't want to make things uncomfortable for either of us. I am also somewhat fearful of the depth of feelings I have felt, having never had a romantic relationship before.
b) Qualification of X's position within the relation
51.1.2.6 to 64
She is surprised by either my feelings/behavious towards her and or her feelings/behaviour towards me or both. She is fearful on some level about connecting with me and concerned what the others in the group will think
c) Qualification of my position within the relation
7.1.2 to 24
I need to stop being emotionally invested and think this through with my head, checking to see if a relationship with the woman is really what I want and if it is suitable for me.
d)What is the best attitude to take to this relationship
37.6 to 63
I need to be respectful to myself and to her, 63 implies that there is nothing further to be gained and it's time to move on.
I welcome any and all interpretations of the above answers both mine and the Yi's.