Shall I have kids ? Hex 44.2.3.5>35

As I had a pretty rough childhood and no good examples from both my mother and my father I decided that it will be best for me not to get pregnant and not risk having a kid. However the older I get the more lonely I feel so I asked if I shall have kids whether this will be good for me? I see this as a warning to not have them and a confirmation that I shall not yield upon this temptation however, the line 5 is very intriguing to me ''Liu: The melon lies under the medlar tree. The glory is hidden. Something (blessing) comes down from heaven.'' maybe I am wrong but it feels to me like a pregnancy? Or I am wrong?Regards Anna