Hi everyone. I have been very confused for the past couple weeks. I am a recent graduate and university was mostly a rubbish experience. I learnt a lot during that time about the idea of life purpose and meaningful work, wealth from the perspective of how income from a job is not going to make you financially secure a.k.a the rat race, wealth from the spiritual perspective of following inspired action and doing what you are passionate about. All of this has made me want to pursue my own creativity and try unorthodox or less job dependent ways of creating in the world and making income at the same time. I'm always trying to notice signs from the universe and synchronicities, but i feel like i'm being pulled in all directions, especially with people telling me to get a job, an astrology reading i purchased which said getting a job is likely to benefit me financially rather than my own creative pursuits so some compromise may be needed, and getting emails from a careers lady at university who keeps asking to meet and call me about job seeking. I even wanted to get a job for the most part, but there's always been either forces outside me that seem to thwart or make such attempts difficult, for example the ability to get references (one of my personal tutors was really rude to me even though i'd only spoken to her once, ignored my email for a meeting once, she just didn't like me and i realised i couldn't get a reference from her), when i was doing volunteer work to improve my CV my parents caused drama for me that caused me to have to move out and live with my grandma which made it difficult for me to go and some other criticisms from my mother about my volunteer work. Then there was my own committment issues, a weak commitment towards that kind of endeavour makes it difficult for me to bother, i feel like it's not worthwhile... i ended up just leaving the volunteer place without telling them, one time i missed a university exam because i was so unprepared as the work felt incredibly meaningless (still managed to get a first from my degree thankfully). My mind has been so overtaken with the idea that if i am not committed to something, i should just not go for it, it makes it more difficult to pursue something like a job just for money, i worry that my weak committment will not only make the whole job seeking process ineffective, but then even if i manage to get something, i'll mess it up by virtue of being unhappy and not committed. Given all those thoughts for some context, i asked the I Ching "What outcome is likely if i job seek? Should i?" I got 5.2.3.5 (Waiting) leading to 24 (Returning). I'm new to the I Ching so i find it very difficult to interpret, what are your thoughts? Sorry i can't seem to create paragraphs on this!
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