Hi,The first reading couldn't be any clearer really. My heart is not glad and I cannot rescue the one I've been "following" for several years. Neither can I do anything other than feel the emotional pain of love and longing which, right now, cannot be fulfilled or end in union. Somehow I have to repair the damage , in myself because this does not feel good at all right now.I had recently reconnected online with someone I had a very intense affair with about 3 years ago. It ended due to us living far apart and life circumstances and obstacles to seeing each other that he felt were insurmountable. I've recently come out of a different relationship that didn't work out due to a lack of passion and love connection. Myself and the first guy I had the intense love affair with prior, have remained in touch throughout the last few years, maintaining a connection. Recently that rekindled very shockingly and intensely but when it came down to working out when we could see each other-he drew a blank, citing his still very complex life situation. I called his bluff on this and ..predictably(based on my fears/intuition) it has all come tumbling down and is no longer going forwards.After drawing 52>18, I asked "what now and how do I move through this/is there anything else i can do and got :50.1.3.4.5 to 61.I just don't know what this second one means and would appreciate some advice. I'm very much dealing with feelings of grief right now in terms of caring for someone I can't be with. Lines 3 and 4 ring true. I wasn't patient and I've broken the spell and alienated him. But line one and five are so positive. Combined with 61 does it mean that as painful as it is, it is the truth and I'm correctly aligned with the truth of the situation? How does this all fit together? What's my route through this? I certainly don't feel like I've got hold of jade handles right now!!!Any perspectives much appreciated. Thanks.
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