Heartbreak to let the rest of life in.

For the past 15 years I have been in a restless state of confusion, fear, anxiety and an undercurrent of heartbreak. I feel like the mountain of it all had been coming to head. Not really a question just needed to know where I am. I was feeling lost and quite hopeless in this general pit of yuck. Lots of losses I was not wanting nor willing to process.
"Please help."
19.1.2.3 <15
Not really needing an interpretation just recognizing the peace I feel about the reading and wanting a place to write it down.