Hello, and thank you for taking time to read my thread.
My question is what does the future hold for me as I fear I am having a breakdown.
I have reached a crisis point in my life, and have nearly lost hope that I will find my way through.
A bit of history....I have always suffered extreme anxiety/depression due to childhood, then bad relationships. For years now Ive been a sole parent with very little/no support, and had accepted my life as such. Then, somehow I met a man (with problems) but fell in love for the 1st time in my life in early 2016. I saw so much good in him, and learnt to trust and have faith in good again.
Long story short, he wasn't who I thought he was.His extreme goodness was paralleled by his coldness and cruelty. We learnt he had cancer, then learnt it was 4th stage...this was may 2017. His ex wife, who has remarried, and who I was friends with gave her blessing to us both, but was always undermining each of us. Upon learning he had cancer, she doubled her efforts, caused problems until we broke up and she put a granny flat on her property for him. She told so many lies, that I was sure he would see through but he never did. Needless to say her motivation was the fact that he had never changed his will with it all going to her.I never gave up hope that he would get well, or that we could overcome our problems. But he died 27 dec 17. She caused trouble between us right till his last days but thats another long story. Sorry if this isnt very coherent but my state of mind is disinergrating. I am at a loss to comprehend all that has happened. I feel as though evil and greed trumped love and goodness. I never cared about the money, and pretty much supported him the whole time he was with me.
I feel so used and worthless. And its getting harder not to give into feelings of utter hopeless and despair.
I have no idea how to get through this time other than keep going, one day at a time, but my energy mentally and physically is so low.
Sorry for the long saga. If anyone could advise what to make of this reading for my future I would be so grateful. I just need hope.
Thank you
My question is what does the future hold for me as I fear I am having a breakdown.
I have reached a crisis point in my life, and have nearly lost hope that I will find my way through.
A bit of history....I have always suffered extreme anxiety/depression due to childhood, then bad relationships. For years now Ive been a sole parent with very little/no support, and had accepted my life as such. Then, somehow I met a man (with problems) but fell in love for the 1st time in my life in early 2016. I saw so much good in him, and learnt to trust and have faith in good again.
Long story short, he wasn't who I thought he was.His extreme goodness was paralleled by his coldness and cruelty. We learnt he had cancer, then learnt it was 4th stage...this was may 2017. His ex wife, who has remarried, and who I was friends with gave her blessing to us both, but was always undermining each of us. Upon learning he had cancer, she doubled her efforts, caused problems until we broke up and she put a granny flat on her property for him. She told so many lies, that I was sure he would see through but he never did. Needless to say her motivation was the fact that he had never changed his will with it all going to her.I never gave up hope that he would get well, or that we could overcome our problems. But he died 27 dec 17. She caused trouble between us right till his last days but thats another long story. Sorry if this isnt very coherent but my state of mind is disinergrating. I am at a loss to comprehend all that has happened. I feel as though evil and greed trumped love and goodness. I never cared about the money, and pretty much supported him the whole time he was with me.
I feel so used and worthless. And its getting harder not to give into feelings of utter hopeless and despair.
I have no idea how to get through this time other than keep going, one day at a time, but my energy mentally and physically is so low.
Sorry for the long saga. If anyone could advise what to make of this reading for my future I would be so grateful. I just need hope.
Thank you