Hi all!Could really use your guidance and expertise if you so oblige. I am in a bit of a standstill of my own making and am feeling very nervous about my relationship. A bit of background first as I don't think advice can be gleaned without it. I have been married for 7 years, we have three children. I met my husband when I was very young, he is nearly a decade older. He is a good man, a great provider and an excellent father, but he is so different from me in every way. Due to my youth I allowed him to hold all the power in our relationship and basically altered myself to appease him. [I know but I was being a 'good' wife] About 1 year ago, I began to feel a lot of inner urgings and angst which lead me to step into my own power. I realized I could no longer not be 'me' in order to have peace in our marriage. 'Me' being an adventurer, extrovert, surfer, artist ect. My husband prefers to stay home and watch TV, even on date nights, if we never left the house he'd be content. This makes me feel suffocated. I have talked to him about this, I am very open and honest with him. I am also seeing a counselor. The problem is, he is unwilling or maybe unable to change as our basic temperament and approach to life is extremely different. Around 6 months ago I met someone whose very presence makes me feel alive. I have been very cautious not even allowing a real friendship to develop as it would confuse me more and my commitment to my family and marriage is very important, but my heart wonders. I tried just ignoring the attraction at first, then cord cutting, meditation, release exercises etc but it's to no avail, he still has a strong effect on me which. I believe he has crossed paths with me for a reason, even if for it to only spur me to some sort of action. Or maybe he is the manifestation of what I long for in my marriage, I don't know. But now I find myself even more confused and guilt ridden. I want to do the right thing for myself, my husband and my family. But I don't want to wake up when I'm 80 and feel like I let life pass me by because I was afraid or too cautious. If you could please shed some light on this to help me move to the next step in this growth period I would be eternally grateful. I'm having a hard time being objective. Q: If I choose the path of committing fully to my husband.Hex: 15.2.3-7I take this to mean I can find happiness, if I remain humble and unassuming. If I don't ask for too much and moderate my desires. Also, in order to find happiness I'll need to formulate a plan. Q: If I choose the path of following my heart and leaving my marriage. Hex: 2.4.5-45I take this to mean that I can find happiness but through being receptive. The time for action is not yet but instead if I follow the urgings of my heart and do the work at each step I will arrive at happiness. It's urging me to remain receptive to the flow rather than assert myself. I feel confused though because It feels like both are decent. So now what? Anyone see one path as better than he other?
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