I feel like a d*mn fool. I've been emailing with someone that piques my interest. We have hilarious long email conversations and he's told me he enjoys them, how funny I am and to contact him anytime. It's someone I wanted to genuinely get to know and looked like we were getting somewhere. That being said, it FEELS LIKE he's pulling away now. I say that because the last time he emailed me was 4 days after I'd emailed him. I replied yesterday and it's been a day and a half and nothing. Before it took him just under a day for him to respond (he's in a different time zone). I have a long history of people seeming interested in the beginning and vanishing on me. I've gathered that I come on too strong, get too excited and I suppose they feel pressure. I don't know but I do know I'm tired of it. My heart is so full of pain and disappointment. It's amazing I'm still standing. Why even try at human interaction when it just causes more and more pain? :( After reading online articles and watching YouTube videos by all these "love coaches" I guess he just lost interest.
Trying not to come to the conclusion that I just absolutely suck. I feel so unlovable, unwanted, just not worth the time. Because that is how it appears I'm treated by people I like. :confused:
I asked the IC a yes/no question which I know is not a good idea. But I have a lump in my throat and holding back tears.
I asked "will he email me back?"
The response was 28 UC. At first I thought it was a strong Yes but after further investigation it seems a very negative hexagram with all the talk of collapse and being too weighty. Like it all just collapsed under this (my) pressure? I guess it was too much for him and he pulled away. FML. I'm embarrassed if that is the case, that I was too much for him, that I was overzealous. I will not email him again. I will not chase after him. I've been down that road before and it just makes me look like even more of a silly fool chasing after someone. This whole thing is difficult because I've been in this type of situation before. There's a reason he just leaves my message sitting in his inbox not replied to. :ouch:
Then I asked "how specifically should I handle this now?"
Response was 39.1.5 > 36
Ok...lots of talk about limping. And hiding my light. I guess this can be summed up as staying back. Don't reach out, don't contact him at all. That was my plan. I hate when IC just tells me what I'm already doing. I guess the friends in this reading are people here on onlineclarity.
If anything after all these years of pain and disappointment I'm learning to not be excited about anyone and most of all don't show or say it!! FML. :bag:
Anyone have any other thoughts??
If you read this far, thank you. Now, I'm going to bury my face in my mattress and cry.
Trying not to come to the conclusion that I just absolutely suck. I feel so unlovable, unwanted, just not worth the time. Because that is how it appears I'm treated by people I like. :confused:
I asked the IC a yes/no question which I know is not a good idea. But I have a lump in my throat and holding back tears.
I asked "will he email me back?"
The response was 28 UC. At first I thought it was a strong Yes but after further investigation it seems a very negative hexagram with all the talk of collapse and being too weighty. Like it all just collapsed under this (my) pressure? I guess it was too much for him and he pulled away. FML. I'm embarrassed if that is the case, that I was too much for him, that I was overzealous. I will not email him again. I will not chase after him. I've been down that road before and it just makes me look like even more of a silly fool chasing after someone. This whole thing is difficult because I've been in this type of situation before. There's a reason he just leaves my message sitting in his inbox not replied to. :ouch:
Then I asked "how specifically should I handle this now?"
Response was 39.1.5 > 36
Ok...lots of talk about limping. And hiding my light. I guess this can be summed up as staying back. Don't reach out, don't contact him at all. That was my plan. I hate when IC just tells me what I'm already doing. I guess the friends in this reading are people here on onlineclarity.
If anything after all these years of pain and disappointment I'm learning to not be excited about anyone and most of all don't show or say it!! FML. :bag:
Anyone have any other thoughts??
If you read this far, thank you. Now, I'm going to bury my face in my mattress and cry.