After over a year of an unsuccessful job and fellowship search and two sad deaths in the family over the same period, I feel emotionally and physically extenuated. Yet I'm pushing on with a book proposal, job applications, etc. luckily I have steady freelance work that pays the bills, but my failure to secure work in my chosen field has eroded my confidence and left me feeling empty and disillusioned.
I have become very cognizant that I'm peering over a precipice and if I don't take care of myself, I'll experience full blown burnout. I asked for counsel in this matter and received 23 uh changing, which almost came as a relief. Do nothing. Don't fight it. Submit to heaven.
Yet just a day earlier, I also pulled 14.6 when noting my frustration at not having been given a sold chance in this profession, despite publications I'm told are good, invitations to lecture on a freelance basis, etc. that reading seemed to suggest a huge change in fortunes, maybe even a lucky break from someone benevolent who recognizes what I have to offer.
So I find myself at a confusing crossroads. Putting these two readings together, is the message perhaps "submit, wait, and don't struggle-- the situation is crappy and deteriorating and you have to wait for the seeds to sprout into something good?"
I keep agonizing over whether to throw in the towel and cut my losses on this career path, since it's making me stressed and unhappy. These two readings seem so diametrically opposed, I don't know how to interpret them together. Thanks for any insight. :bows:
I have become very cognizant that I'm peering over a precipice and if I don't take care of myself, I'll experience full blown burnout. I asked for counsel in this matter and received 23 uh changing, which almost came as a relief. Do nothing. Don't fight it. Submit to heaven.
Yet just a day earlier, I also pulled 14.6 when noting my frustration at not having been given a sold chance in this profession, despite publications I'm told are good, invitations to lecture on a freelance basis, etc. that reading seemed to suggest a huge change in fortunes, maybe even a lucky break from someone benevolent who recognizes what I have to offer.
So I find myself at a confusing crossroads. Putting these two readings together, is the message perhaps "submit, wait, and don't struggle-- the situation is crappy and deteriorating and you have to wait for the seeds to sprout into something good?"
I keep agonizing over whether to throw in the towel and cut my losses on this career path, since it's making me stressed and unhappy. These two readings seem so diametrically opposed, I don't know how to interpret them together. Thanks for any insight. :bows: